13 Ideas for a Loved One's Empty Christmas Stocking

The holidays are full of small things that catch you off guard, and you already know that. Just lifting the lid on the box of decorations can be hard. So if you found your loved one's Christmas stocking and felt some mix of tears, nausea, numbness, or the sense of being swallowed whole, you are far from the only one. That stocking is a sharp reminder that they aren't here. And it usually comes with a rush of questions: What am I supposed to do with it? Is hanging it okay? Is it okay if I can't bring myself to hang it?

Here is the short answer first: there is no right or wrong way to handle holiday traditions after a death. The only thing that matters is what feels right for you and the people you love. "What works," though, doesn't mean it stops hurting. It simply means it might offer a little comfort that can sit beside the grief. With that in mind, here are some ideas — many of them passed along to us by grievers over the years.

Creative ideas for the empty stocking

If you want to keep the stocking and hang it

1. Set out paper and a pen and invite people to fill the stocking with a favorite memory. These can be holiday memories or memories of any kind. Read them on your own, or together as a family.

2. Fill it with the gifts you would have given them. When the holiday is over, gather those gifts from the stocking and pass them on to a local charity or shelter.

3. Fill it with their favorite candy, cookies, or treats. Bring them out for everyone to share while gifts are opened, or with dessert.

4. Fill it with the gifts you would have bought for them and then give those gifts to friends or family who would appreciate them too, along with a note explaining why your loved one would have loved that particular thing.

5. Put out paper and a pen and ask everyone to write down one "gift" the person gave them — something physical or not — that they will always hold onto and treasure.

6. Fill it with notes to your loved one written on flying wish paper. Light them in the evening, on New Year's Eve, or at another time that feels meaningful.

7. Use the stocking for shared family gifts — presents meant for everyone. This works especially well when children have lost a parent or a sibling, though it can be just as fitting in a household of adults.

8. Make their stocking your own. You might leave their name on it if it had one, or cover it with fabric and add your own name by writing or embroidery.

9. Fill it with gifts "from" your loved one. This is a lovely option if you have young children — presents that come "from" the parent, sibling, or grandparent who died. It can also be a kind way to treat yourself. If your partner or parent often bought you jewelry, video games, or something else, choose those things and tuck them into the stocking for Christmas morning.

If you want to part with or repurpose the stocking

10. Turn it into a keepsake. Cut a small heart, star, or other shape from the stocking and frame it or make it into an ornament. You can make several and share them with other family members who would find them meaningful.

11. Hang something else in its place. Some families light a candle above the spot the first year, then in later years keep just the candle. Others tell us they hang a star, an ornament, or another keepsake where the stocking used to be.

12. Skip the stockings entirely. In the first year, hanging the stocking can feel like too much. But seeing everyone else's up without theirs can also feel like too much. If that's where you are, you can leave the stockings down this year altogether. You can always come back to it next year.

13. Let the stocking go. Not wanting to keep it is completely normal and completely okay. Your bond with your loved one lives in your memory and your heart, not in an object. When you feel ready to part with it, give it a squeeze, say goodbye, and place it in a donation bag or a fabric recycling bin.

Have another idea for what to do with a loved one's stocking? Share it and help keep this list growing.