Estate Planning Tips for Unmarried Couples

When you share a life with someone but have no marriage certificate, civil union, or registered domestic partnership, estate planning isn't optional. Skip it, and neither of you can inherit from the other by default — and neither of you gets a say in the other's medical care if something goes wrong.

If you die without a valid will, state law decides who inherits your solely owned property — and an unmarried partner isn't on that list. Your children, if you have them, come first, followed by your closest blood relatives, including your parents. The same gap shows up in a medical crisis: only a spouse or someone named in a valid health care power of attorney can make decisions for you if you can't speak for yourself. The good news is that you can put these protections in place yourself, or hire an attorney to draft them for you.

• Write your wills
• Consider a living trust
• Own property together
• Name beneficiaries on accounts
• Set up living wills and powers of attorney
• Know when to get legal help

Write your wills

If you own anything you'd want to pass on, write a will. It lets you choose who gets what — your partner, friends, or a cause you care about. Without one, and without children, most of what you leave behind goes to your parents or siblings under your state's rules. Every state has intestate succession laws spelling out which relatives inherit when someone dies without a will.

If you're raising young children together, a will serves another critical purpose: naming a guardian. That person would step in and raise your kids if neither parent could. Courts generally appoint whoever the parents named, unless there's a serious problem with that choice.

If you and your partner are both the children's legal parents, name someone other than each other as guardian — a guardian only takes over if both parents are gone or unable to care for the kids. If only one of you is a legal parent, you can name your partner as guardian in your will. It also helps to attach a letter explaining to the court why your partner should raise the children. Keep in mind, though, that if another legal parent is in the picture, that person would likely be given custody instead.

Putting together a straightforward will isn't hard or costly. Plenty of people handle it themselves using an online tool or software program.

Consider a living trust

A living trust can serve the same purpose as a will — leaving assets to your partner — but it spares the survivor the time and cost of probate. Trusts also tend to offer more flexibility than wills. Most people wait until midlife or later to set up a living trust.

Own property together

One way to make sure neither of you is left without a home or car after the other dies is to hold big assets — houses, vehicles — in joint tenancy with right of survivorship. Under this arrangement, the surviving partner automatically owns the whole asset the moment the other dies.

To set this up, both names need to appear on the title document itself — the car's certificate of title, or the deed to the house. Depending on your state's rules, you'll typically need to specify on the title that you hold the property as joint tenants with right of survivorship.

Name beneficiaries on accounts

You and your partner may not want to co-own everything, and some accounts — retirement accounts, for instance — can't be shared anyway. So you'll need other tools to make sure the assets in your name alone still reach your partner when you die.

Certain valuable accounts — banking, investment, and retirement accounts — bypass your will entirely. All it takes to direct these to the person of your choice is requesting a beneficiary designation form from the bank or account custodian and naming your beneficiary.

It costs nothing and takes little effort. Change your mind later? Just submit a new form naming someone else. It's worth learning how beneficiary designations work for the different kinds of assets you hold.

Set up living wills and powers of attorney

These documents give your partner the legal standing to step in on financial and medical matters if you're ever unable to handle them yourself.

A durable power of attorney (DPOA) for finances lets you and your partner manage each other's money if needed. This matters a lot if either of you is suddenly hospitalized or incapacitated — you might need immediate access to your partner's checking account just to keep the mortgage paid. Without this document in place, you'd have to go to court and prove your partner's incapacity before gaining any control over their finances.

A durable power of attorney for health care lets your partner make medical decisions on your behalf if you can't make them yourself. Pair it with a living will, where you spell out your end-of-life care preferences in whatever detail you want. Many states merge these two documents into a single form, often called an advance directive or health care directive. Doctors and other providers are required to follow these instructions, and writing them down also makes sure your partner knows exactly what you'd want.

Know when to get legal help

Unmarried partners don't automatically get the legal protections married couples have, so it's worth making sure your wishes — and your partner's — are clearly documented. You can draft these documents yourself. But if legal paperwork makes you uneasy, or your family situation is complicated, an estate planning attorney licensed in your state can help. And if either of you holds significant assets that might trigger estate taxes, it's worth consulting an attorney regardless. Rules here vary by state, so check what applies where you live.

Based on reporting by Jeff Burtka, an attorney.